The word personality is derived from Latin, meaning “a theatrical mask used by actors.” First and foremost, Cain is an actor. You might think you have found the most perfect person in the whole world because in the beginning he is overly attentive to your every word and need. But in reality you are looking at a mask that he wears in public. His attentiveness is manipulation designed to hook you so that you become the attentive one to his needs.
Everything Cain says or does is carefully orchestrated. He lives in a world of appearances; how it looks to others is far more important than the actual truth. He comes on as charming, witty, intelligent, helpful and caring. You fall in love with him easily. But behind the mask are excessive feelings of self importance and vanity mixed with deep feelings of rage, jealousy, and indifference. What you see is not what you get. He wears a mask to hide his dark side. It might be difficult to believe, but he cares about himself only.
In reality, he is on a hunt 24/7 to get adoration, attention, affirmation of which he needs a constant supply. He constantly fears losing this supply of adoration. IIn his disordered thinking, adoration and attention are love. Yet, he is badly equipped to love or return love.n fact, he is terrified of intimacy. Often when emotions become too intense for whatever reason, he brings about abandonment to “get it over with” and end the emotional discomfort. Of course, he ditched you, he didn’t do anything that made you want to leave. Cain takes responsibility for nothing.